On To The Next

I just got off the phone with my niece who called for guidance regarding her ‘on again, off again’ high school sweetheart--they’re off again. After hanging up I realized that a lot of women are going through similar situations and I want to offer the insight which took me years to discover. We (women) hang on to bad relationships way too long. We drive ourselves to the brink of insanity waiting for our devotion, commitment and silent molding, to bare fruits that in most cases will never come.
We’ve all heard or made the excuse: "he's not perfect but it's better than going back to the lonely, maddening world of dating. Or the popular, "I've worked to hard to let the next chick reap all the benefits." Or "He's going to come around and realize what a good woman I am I just know it.” The question I had to answer in my revelation and that I am posing to you now is, Why? What is the purpose of maintaining something that is clearly not working especially if there's no true commitment ie. marriage to fight for? What is the point of continuing to invest in something that returns only heartache and pain? At what point does it register that you may be fighting a winless battle?

My “Ahh Haa” moment came during a phone conversation with my mother (SixtySexy&Settled) about the reoccurring issues/irritations in my rocky 2-year relationship. And as I paused to take a breath from my non-stop rant, she offered in her most soothing voice, “Maybe he’s not the one?” GASP! What is it about this question that knocks you off your feet? Nevermind the fact that we think it after every argument or infidelity but the fact that someone else thinks it about your relationship is like having the curtain pulled back when you’re naked in the shower. GASP AGAIN! I guess I always thought that if I would just cook more, clean more, get more freaky, stop asking questions, and basically let him do whatever he wanted then the relationship would be better. But for who? I would’ve reduced my role from girlfriend to jump off because nothing in that equation benefits me.
I won’t profess to know all there is to know about men but what I have learned (from my gay male friends, thanks for the spill boys “Ooow!”) is, if a man wants something he’s going to focus, fight and sacrifice to have it. From the nice job, fly car, to the woman he loves. So if you’re not getting what you want out of your relationship maybe it’s because you not the one for him.
Ladies stop waiting for him to become that image of him you've created in your head. Recognize that he's perfect just the way he is. Just perfect for someone else. In the famous words of Ed (from Love Jones) "Let it go and walk away." Easier said then done I know but the longer you wait the longer you block your own blessing. Believe me, there’s a suitable suitor out there waiting for you.