Where My Girls At?

It's official, I'm hooked on VH1's new show "Let's Talk About Pep" (a hood version of Sex and the City). If you haven't seen it, Pepa, from the famed group Salt n Pepa is looking for love along with 3 of her girlfriends. Each episode they meet for lunch to dish on their dating adventures. LUV IT!! I get a nostalgic pain when I see them hanging out because recently all my close girlfriends have moved out of the city and now I'm doing all my girlie errands (manicures, shopping, hairdresser, etc.) solo. It just doesn't have that same appeal. Healthy girlfriend relationships are the next best thing to a butt naked man
in a wheel barrel of money...or chocolate depending on the day of the month. So in pursuit of filling my girlfriend void I've broken down how to find and establish new, real and lasting friendships in your thirties because it's not an easy task. When you're a busy professional, mother and you're on the go how do you approach a woman that you don't know and ask her to be your friend? "Hi, you look fabulous and fun, let's go out sometimes and get some drinks."
I don't know about you but it sounds a little suspect to me. So instead I've developed 5 sure fire ways to find and create your new Flirty Fly Girl Crew:

1. THE CO WORKER: Why not? You work together everyday and this is a great start at creating your network but proceed with caution. Before approaching a co worker take some time to just observe her. Get a feel for her reputation around the office. If she's a gossip, slacker, tramp or 3+ ladder rungs below you then don't bothered. You want to align yourself with someone who is on your level mentally and who understands that what happens outside the office remains outside the office. Only invite people into your life that will enhance your situation not corrupt it (at least certain aspects but that's another entry). So if she's a cool, professional, confident, fly and all about getting out into the world then she's the girl for your crew.
2. THE AFICIONADO: Whatever your secret obsession (fashion, bull riding, art, etc) or that thing you've been dying to try this is the time to do it. Find a class or a meet up group and join. This is a great place to connect with someone you have something in common with like when we were kids playing Kickball or joining Girl Scouts. Go in with your friendly face and magnetic personality and revert to your first days of school and ask for everyone's number. Once you find your person then make your move. start partnering up for class activities and when the opportunity presents itself ask her to hang out at a party or social event going on outside of class.
3. THE FAMILY: Talk to your guy friends and see if they have a sister/sister-friend that they think you would get along with. Sometimes a good girlfriend is just 1 degrees away. Note: If you're sleeping with this guy then beware because his suggestion could be nothing more than a mole, spy and/or someone sent in to report what you're doing when he's not around. So be careful what you say and do around her, at least until you get some dirt on her to barter with.
4. THE MENTOR: Nothing says fly like an established, diva-like older woman (Diane Carroll, Barbara Walters) preferably one rooted in money. No she's not going to the club with you at 11pm but she's the person who invites you to Gala's, Charity events and social gatherings where there's people with money. Doctors, Lawyers, CEO's and other men of power. Get your game face on because this is where the big boys are.
5. THE SAVED ONE: No not Jesus, not that it's a bad thing, I'm talking about your sisters in God. If you're more of a conservative and want to hang out in a more toned down way this is definitely the move. But don't be fooled, some sisters in the church are just like sisters on the street and you'll be surprised what she's really into. So make sure that she has the same relationship with God and that she understands that what you do outside the church is not for the entire church congregation. A good Church is hard to find and you don't want to have to find a new one because you're the talk of the pews.

So there you have it. I've armed you with all the tools you need for your new FlirtyFly crew. The main theme in all of my suggestions is observe and report. Establishing real friendships is like establishing love relationships you go in slow and feel it out and if things start looking like they're not working out then cut the string and keep it moving. Good luck!